Nanosense`

Friday Editorial at Cynical Sarah:

Nanosense

An Evil Laugh a Day, Makes the Children Run Away

Hillary Clinton made a guest appearance on the latest episode of Fox News Sunday, and it seems that she has yet to fire the image coach that talked her into using a painfully contrived Southern accent when she spoke at a church in Selma, Alabama on Bloody Sunday.

The interview with Chris Wallace is peppered with manic, knee-slapping, inappropriately enthusiastic laughter. In another apparent bid to make herself more accessible, Clinton-bot began a few of the questions with forced, bone chilling laughter. The miracle of Botox makes her laugh even more disturbing.

It was a lot like another laugh I heard recently. It was at the Costco, and the laughter came from no mere mortal, but a possessed animatronic witch that defies the authority of the “off” switch.

Furthermore, I think we may have to call PETA in on this one, because I have a horrible feeling that her laughter was coerced by a dedicated campaign worker who was smashing in the heads of tiny marmalade kittens with a tack hammer. And I thought that if any party would stoop to murdering small animals to win an election, it would have been the Republicans.

I would like to suggest, rather than harming any more of god’s creatures, Clinton spend a month waiting tables at the Olive Garden, or picking apples, or actually working as a nurse. Honesty and Integrity don’t come from injections at a plastic surgeon’s office, nor can they be faked by laughing in a way that frightens small children.

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Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here

Permanently Checked Out

Friday Editorial at Cynical Sarah:

Permanently Checked Out

Homeless to the Extreme

Friday Editorial at Cynical Sarah:

Homeless to the Extreme

Snookie's Avenger

Friday Editorial at Cynical Sarah:

Snookie's Avenger

Signs That You Might Be an Idiot Dog-Owner:

• You bought your dog at the mall.
• You still feed your dog “wet” canned food.
• You don’t know that there are dog seatbelt harnesses on the market.
• You’ve never been to the ASPCA website to read their publication “A Poison Safe Home.”
• Your dog is too stupid to be house trained.
• You blame the dog for eating the paper plate covered in pizza grease that you left on your TV tray.
• Your dog’s favorite activity is ripping up garbage bags so that your neighbors are constantly picking up tiny piece of gnawed black plastic that fly into their yards.
• You don’t wash your dog’s bowls every day.
• You let your dog poop anywhere and leave it as a monument to your thoughtless vulgarity.
• You chose a dog of a particular breed because you thought it was “cute.”
• You chose a Siberian Husky because you like the movie Snow Dogs.
• You ever leave your dog crated without water.
• You dog barks incessantly in the middle of the night and you don’t do anything about it.
• The police come to your house because a neighbor was concerned about your dog being outside in 100-degree weather without any water.
• You do two or more of the above and you’re thinking of getting a second dog.