The funny disease.

Monday, June 12, 2006

"Hit Me Baby One More Time."

Chandler made national news when police arrested a couple on possession and sale of marijuana, which they allegedly used to reward their 11 and 12-year-old boys. Their buzz kill four-year-old daughter was apparently still to young to light up with Mom and Dad for putting her toys away. (I think the last time we were so famous is when Ali "Whack-job" Warrayat attempted to blow up our Home Depot.)

Chandler, AZ is a strange place. A blend of the middle class and wealthy interspersed with stark pockets of economic distress. Trailer parks and housing that only a government could build pop up here and there among the lavish strip malls. Some of the houses in the “old” section of town are so poorly insulated the occupants have resorted to opaque aluminum foil window tint. These homes contrast with a handful of very pretty fire stations, ostentatious gated communities, an expansive, showy downtown library and plans for a citywide wireless network. It’s a jarring contrast, and one that I believe should not exist in the richest country in the world. (No, I don't think we should deport all of the poor people.)

When I brought up the satellite image of the block where Betty "Magic-brownies" Crocker,
* and family reside, I was fully expecting to see one of the grungy pockets of town. But instead, I found it was a relatively new neighborhood, where the houses are going for around $250 thousand. In addition, the neighborhood is spitting distance from Hamilton High School--so conveniently located for contributing to the delinquency of minors.

It will be interesting to see if the stoner parents use the Britney Spears defense. In an interview scheduled to air on the “Today” show on Thursday, Spears spoke with Matt Lauer about the time a vicious mob of
scary paparazzi made her flee in her SUV (her Frappuccino and un-captured soul intact) with mini K-Fed on her lap. "I did it with my Dad. I'd sit on his lap and I drive…We're country." Sorry, honey, that’s not country. That’s just stupid. And so is sharing your stash with your kids, no matter how good they are.


* Not her real name.

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3 Comments:

Blogger The Phosgene Kid said...

Ah, Chandler's all trailer houses and tarpaper shacks compared to El Mirage. We have real criminals here that even show up on America's Least Wanted and everything - not just some mom that gives out a dime-bag for allowance each week.

6/12/2006 11:08 PM

 
Blogger KyuBall said...

Ah, Mom...you made brownies again? You're the best.

It's not just Chandler...you just made the news. My wife's sister's family was up from Alabama this past weekend for a family reunion. While the rest of the family was at Saturday Mass, I and the rest of the heathens stayed behind and they confided in me that their 17 year old son was recently arrested.

He told me: "It was my moms fault."

Me: "Yeah?"

Him: "Yeah...they cops came up to my house look'n fo mom cause'n she had a 'failure to appear' warrant. They pinched me for a bag of shakes."

His mom: "That I gave him."

Laughs.

And they wonder why we don't come down for a visit.

6/15/2006 8:46 PM

 
Blogger Fuff said...

Poor Britney. I hope she didn't spill her frappuwotsit.

6/19/2006 10:15 AM

 

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