Britney Spears Teaches Course in Car Seat Safety

By now you have probably heard about the latest drama in the Spears/Federline household. Typically, I wouldn’t waste my precious blog space on them, but I can’t let the latest display of utter stupidity go by without ranting about someone so high profile and influential to other inexperienced, naive, learning impaired young parents.

Yesterday, Britney Spears was photographed allegedly driving her honking big SUV with her baby on her lap. While it is not fair to judge someone on the basis of alleged actions, we could do some pretending and look at the incident from Spears’ position in the driver’s seat.

Now, imagine you’re inside of a honking big SUV, and you’re worried about a crowd of people armed with cameras, but you still took the time to wait for your bodyguard to show up with your nonfat venti strawberry crème Frappuccino. Why wouldn’t you also take the time to lock your doors, and give the paparazzi a nice shot of your trunk while you strapped baby safely into the car seat? Moreover, why didn’t the bodyguard, a person that Spears pays to protect her and her children, to whom I’ll give the benefit of the doubt in assuming that he is a fully functional, mentally stable adult, suggest the aforementioned course of action to her?

It’s easy to blame aggressive paparazzi, but wouldn’t driving away in a car while you are freaking out be even more dangerous for the precious innocent baby in your lap? And if Spears was so concerned for her safety why is the car window partially open?

So in review, two adults are in a car with a baby and because there are scary people taking pictures outside, they allegedly flee instead of pausing to put the baby in the car seat.

Spears is not even wearing her own seat belt. She can’t even pretend that her palates-toned left arm and motherly love would save them in a collision. Which, trust 50 state governments, it is not safe to hold a baby on your lap and drive.