Terrorist's Calendar

President Bush, aka The Decider, claims that terrorists will mark their calendars if Congress passes a law giving a specific date for troop withdrawal. A Cursed Tongue exclusive, we have access to Osama Bin Laden’s personal day planner. As you can see, every day is a good day to bring “Death to America.” I have trouble believing that troop withdrawal will increase the danger to the U.S.A. (Besides which, it would be my guess that Al’Queda would throw a party complete with camel rides and a bouncy casbah if we left.)

Of course, in the same speech Bush called himself a conservationist. Which is kind of like someone claiming to be a vegan and then eating Jell-o. At this point I assume that pretty much everything out of his mouth is steaming cow flop. Members of the Cattlemen’s Beef Association to whom he gave the speech earlier today were un-phased by the copious amount bovine prairie pies served up by the President.