The funny disease.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Aiken for Manners

Kelly Ripa is one of those celebrities that gives me hives. It could be her unrelenting perkiness, her child-like buoyancy or the myriad of “blond” moments she wanders into. But it is certainly not her prejudices that bother me. Earlier this week on Regis and Kelly, Ripa co-hosted the show with guest host Clay Aiken. (In the interest of full disclosure, Aiken also gives me hives.)

While they were doing a meaningful and in-depth interview with the winners of “Dancing with the Stars,” Aiken felt left out of the conversation while the loquacious Kelly Ripa plowed through the questions on her index card. He covered her mouth with his hand to shut her up. “Oh, that's a no-no,” Ripa said, “I don't know where that hand's been, honey.”

I haven’t touched the door to a public restroom with my bare hands for about three years. I posses a rubber Purell cozy that attaches my mini bottle of Purell to a case I nearly always stow in the car when I go out. Regardless of color, socioeconomic status, or gender, I really don’t like being touched in general. It never occurred to me that germiness could be based on sexual orientation.

Apparently, it occurred to Rosie O’Donnell, a vocal advocate for gay rights, who accused Kelly Ripa of homophobia. O’Donnell said on The View, "To me, that's a homophobic remark," Rosie said. "If that was a straight man, if that was a cute man. If that was a guy who she didn't question his sexuality, she would've said a different thing."

Nevermind the fact that Clay Aiken repeatedly insists that his sexuality is not up for discussion. Nevermind the fact that he disrespected Kelly Ripa by covering her mouth. Something he most assuredly would never have done to Regis, or any other man. O’Donnell remarked that it was odd that Ripa would have said “I don't know where that hand's been,” but that’s exactly what I would have said if someone I was acquainted with put his over my mouth. Right after I asked said imaginary ill-mannered acquaintance what the Hell he thought he was doing. It seems like a sexist thing on the part of Aiken, not a homophobic thing on the part of Ripa.

There has been debate that by accusing Kelly Ripa of being homophobic, that O’Donnell has outed Clay Aiken. But I think she really outed her unhygienic lifestyle, and her eagerness to erupt in outrage over her erroneous perception of bigotry. Hopefully Barbara Walters will remind her that it’s The View, not My Delusional View.



Blogger The Phosgene Kid said...

Clay Aiken repeatedly insists that his sexuality is not up for discussion because he likes sausage.

11/30/2006 3:49 PM


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