Sarah, We Think You Have a Problem

My eye twitch has reached a record 8 months. Through various times in my life the twitch under my right eye has appeared. Times like end of term exams, and during job-hunts the twitch has come and then gone. So it was no surprise when it started last May. We had just moved to Arizona and were looking for a house in a market where prices were spiraling out of control.

Throughout the close of escrow in November, there were times when the twitch was just about constant. And it even traversed the bridge of my nose to agonize my left eye for a brief period. Well, I suppose when I realized that there’s a good chance that I might have to throw the twitch a birthday party (like that time we forgot about a bag of frozen cranberries) I decided that I might want to do something about it. Something, in this case, means Googling “eye twitch” and getting medical advice off of the Internet. I know many people have poopooed the idea of getting medical advice off of the Internet. For those of you who remain blissfully unaware of the font of medical knowledge available on the Internet, it’s a hypochondriac’s wonderland.

Yesterday, I had a stress-induced eye twitch; today I have a neurological disorder. Or Epilepsy. One or the other. Or it could be the combination of stress, fatigue and caffeine, and all I need is a hot bath and a cool compress. Oh, and to give up my coffee. A prospect that I don’t think will be very pretty at this point. It’s times like these that make me truly appreciate the fact that I’ve never smoked. I think if I had, I might be lighting up right now. I bet that would help me relax. (After I was done coughing my lungs up, of course.)

And probably, I shouldn’t be staring at the computer screen all day, writing, blogging, e-mailing and giving in to my other addiction, Googling. It’s research. I have to do my research, so I can continue bringing you up-to-the-moment, in-depth banalities of my life. It’s all perfectly healthy. No, really.