Motherly Advice

This weekend I have a baby shower to attend. There's nothing I love more than dressing up and being in a room 90% full of complete strangers. The best part is eating refreshments in front of said complete strangers, while trying to conceal the fact that I am a complete slob.

One of the activities at the shower will be creating a scrapbook page with motherly advice. I decided to create a few practice pages in advance, in hopes of cutting down on the "What's taking that idiotic slob so long?" embarrassment. And I have found out that I have absolutely no motherly advice, being only a wife, and therefore merely "playing house" as one gracious, lovely Aunt put it.

I do, however, have plenty of questionable advice: