The funny disease.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Hound Heartbreak

There is a poor, pathetically sad dog that’s been in our neighbor’s yard all day every day for about four days. It has blankets, and a water bowl, but no grass and no toys, and the wretched thing spends most of the day barking its head off and staring through the sliding glass door into his house. Frankly, it’s been the sun-focusing magnifying glass on the ant of my current funk.

I saw a passive aggressive device in an unsolicited catalog that we received, which lets out “a sound annoying to dogs, but inaudible to the human ear.” You merely press the button on said device, while the dog is barking to teach it to be quiet. I thought it was amusing at the time. Why wouldn’t one just go talk to their neighbors? But face-to-face with this situation, it is simply too heartbreaking.

He howls bloody dog murder every time we walk into our back yard. I know he is not barking at us. He is usually facing the sliding glass door to the home in which he is apparently not welcome. Nor is he a bad dog. Indeed, I believe that the existence of a bad dog is about as probable as George Dubya admitting that invading Iraq was a bad idea.

While I believe they are abusing the dog, I don’t think there’s anything anyone would do about it. The dog appears to be fed, and looks clean enough for a dog. Why would people even get a dog, put it in a postage stamp yard and then ignore it like a misshapen furry mole the size of a quarter on cheek of a new acquaintance? It’s obvious to me that these people don’t get it.

Am I supposed to be happy that this dog has the proverbial 3 squares a day, water, blankets and a yard? That at least he isn’t in the puppy mill from whence he probably came, or wandering the streets, living off of slow birds and garbage? I’m this close to buying the neighbor’s dog a tennis ball, renaming him Barkley, telling him he’s a good dog and a handsome dog and feeding him Beggin Strips. Of course, maybe it would be better to dognap him, dye his fur and find him a good home.

Update: Those people have an air-conditioned cat! Infidels!


Blogger rob said...

Speak with the ASPCA they might have some ideas as to how it could be at least quietened down. A quick squirt with water from a water pistol or clean "squezy" bottle, applied only when it barks usually works to stop it barking. May not work for you in a warm climate, it would perhaps be welcomed and seen by the dog as some sort of praise? So sad! but noise pollution is an offence and should be attended to with kind means.

3/16/2006 12:35 AM

Blogger The Phosgene Kid said...

If I moved in on the other sides it would be like SpaceBall 1 - you'd be surrounded by assholes!

Dogs need their people, your nieghbors are heartless bastards.

3/16/2006 3:40 PM

Anonymous Sarahtoo said...

I too never understood the point of getting a dog you're just going to put outside and ignore most of the time. There's no such thing as a strictly "outdoor" dog in my world. :( the poor thing

3/16/2006 10:26 PM

Blogger Sarah Letnes said...

Rob--Thanks for the advice. I'll be giving the Arizona Humane Society a call. But I suspect in the temperate March weather, they'll tell me that as long as the dog looks fed and has water there is nothing they can do.

Phos--Do you really think you should move next door if you already dislike the dog ignoring neighbors? I'm sure that it would be funnier than Spaceballs.

Sarahtoo--I so agree. Dogs should be lavished with affection and have their own pillows.

3/17/2006 6:45 PM

Blogger Tea and Books, etc said...

Your neighbours are obviously creatures that emerged from under a rock.

Good luck with the poor dog.

3/18/2006 4:36 PM


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