Torture by Mortgage Broker

It seems that a seller has actually accepted our offer on a house. That in itself seems like a miracle, but I don't want to get excited yet, because it seems as if there are still so many things that could go wrong. I've been comparing mortgages for the past two days, I think I'd rather shove bamboo splinters under my nails, or stick hot lima beans up my nose. Meanwhile, I feel like I should be checking whether they only moved the headstones, and picking paint colors.

Between the bank and the mortgage broker they're charging me of everything short of the air I'll be breathing when I sign the papers. It's not the liver scarring interest rates that are hard to swallow, but the Title Insurance, the "5.1 Environmental Endorsement" fee, and the Document E-mailing Fee. When Sweetface and I were married I thought we were being gouged, (if you attach the word "wedding" to a product you can double and in some cases quadruple the price) but this is plain ridiculous. Some of these fees make as much sense as Original Flavored water.