The funny disease.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Is it just me?

I thought it was just me, but I recently learned, from trolling the blogosphere, that depilatory cream doesn't work on men, either. Steve from The Sneeze wrote a depilatory installment of Just Between Us Girls. It was his foray into hair removal by depilatory cream. The cream didn’t help Steve with his five o’clock shadow, but it made him smell pretty. I thought it was simply my sensitive skin that made that stuff unbearable, and my super tree-stump leg hairs that made it absolutely useless.

I wouldn’t be surprised if this stuff is on Cheney’s list of preferred torture methods. For those of you who have not tried both depilatories and waxing, waxing probably sounds worse, but it’s not. The pain from waxing is brutal, but short. It’s direct, honest pain. The pain from slathering Calcium Hydroxide and Potassium Thioglycolate on your legs and having to sit there for 15 minutes while it deforms your leg hair is an itchy slow pain. As an added bonus it is good for the environment. I know I’ve added it to my list of chemicals I hope make it into the public drinking water.

Should I be relieved or disturbed? Am I the only woman that this stuff doesn't work on? Why are they still selling it, if it doesn't work? Why did I buy it again recently, hoping that this time it would burn the hair off my legs, not just my skin? Did I really believe in the “bladeless” razor? I guess next time I want to smell pretty I’ll just wear perfume. Ok, anybody know how I should dispose of the rest of this bottle of floral-scented environmental nightmare?


Blogger KyuBall said...

If you have any friends that you do not want to keep for long...mix it with their shampoo. It might not work...but then again, it might. Nothing is funnier than making someone think they have some kind of disease that causes hair loss.

11/09/2005 4:15 PM

Blogger Sarah Letnes said...

That's a great idea! It's too bad my little brother lives in another state.

11/10/2005 7:42 AM

Anonymous Timmy T. Napalm said...

I can help get those chems into the atmosphere! Finally you have come around to my way of thinking -by the time the environment is trashed it won't matter to me anymore, I'll already be gone. Screw the future generations. Now if you'll excuse me I have to scatter some plastic six-pack holders around the backyard to see if I can snare me an eagle...

11/10/2005 9:37 AM


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