Cursed Tongue Recipe for Brownies:

• Take ingredients and mixing bowl out of cabinets
• Take brownie pan out of cabinet
• Wash it because it’s dusty with flour and dishwasher residue
• Crack egg into bowl
• Measure 1/3 cup of oil pour into bowl
• Dump in brownie mix
• Notice that I missed 3 tablespoons of water in the ingredient list
• Look in the drawer for tablespoon
• Realize tablespoons are both dirty
• Wonder if 3 tablespoons are the same as ¼ cup
• Debate weather it’s easier to wash a tablespoon of hunt down a conversion chart
• Decide who am I kidding I hate washing dishes and go through 2 cookbooks before finding conversion chart
• Find out that a ¼ cup is 4 tablespoons
• Measure in 1/8 cup and half of a 1/8 cup
• Instructions on box say stir for 50 strokes
• Ignore and stir only until mostly mixed
• Pour mix into brownie pan
• Cover dry bits with wet batter
• Use rubber spatula to get batter off sides of bowl
• Lick spatula
• Turn on oven to preheat because I forgot to do it in the first place
• Eat fun-sized Nestle Crunch Bar to hide fact that have been eating batter
• Check face in mirror to be sure that am hiding fact that have been eating batter
• Bake for less than time on instructions for gooey brownies